Bill:
    Hello, new acquaintance.

    Dave: Hey, neighbor, can I ask you something?

    Bill:
    City hall. Rain cloud. Dollar sign.

    Dave: Um, yeah. Listen, I really need a friend. My boss says I can't get promoted until I get one and learn something about cooking. Life in politics is not what I imagined.

    Bill: Soccer ball. Earth. Ghost!

    Dave: Uh...huh.

    Bill: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!

    Pause.

    Dave: So....you watch any sports or anything?

    Bill: Backrub?

    Dave: Um, no thanks. I only ask because my TV only gets four channels, and they all speak this non-sense jibberish language. It's so weird.

    Bill: Backrub?

    Dave: Uh, still no, thanks.

    Bill: Tickle!

    Dave: Haaaa...very funny. That was not at all awkward.

    Bill: We're friends now.

    Break It To Win It: $300 Up For Grabs

    Tired of hoarding old and broken phones, gaming systems, and other electronics? Well why don't you destroy them instead? That's right, destroy them, and make sure you take video.

    If your destruction is the most creatively epic, you could win cash to buy the same or updated version (up to $300). Remotely blow up your 1999 Samsung phone? We'll send you money for an iPhone. Chop your old Linx in half with an axe? We'll send you cash for a PS3. Crush your tape deck with a car? You get the picture. Enter today!

    Click to Enter

    It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

    Remember when you didn't have a lot of McDonald's fries with your meal and you asked if I just ate some of them? Well, that's the half truth. While I was driving home, I turned a corner and the fries fell on the dirty car floor so before I gave you your food, I just picked them back up and put them back in the bag.

    Alex, School Not Given

    You refused to take out the trash, wash your dishes or clean your side of the sink so I cleaned your side of the sink along with your microwave with my dirty socks and rung the water into energy drink the other day.
    Brittani B, VSU

    Hey you obnoxious suitemate. Remember how you had to spend hundreds of dollars getting your laptop fixed four different times because the hard drive kept "freezing"? Yeah, that was easy to do. One magnet, ten seconds, and boom! All your data is gone.

    McKinley High School Mathletes T-Shirt

    Perfect for freaks and or geeks.

    See More
    cute college girl
    YearSophomore
    SchoolAIU
    Have you ever met an internet friend in real life?
    Have you ever eaten a knuckle sandwich? Do you want to? No--- then stop trying to come over to my house. I watch Dateline. I know what you’re trying to do. Pervert. You keep telling me you're one of the CollegeHumor folks and you have a "free" t-shirt to give me but you insist on dropping it by my house along with some candy and tasty adult beverages.
    Tired of your old Photoshop filters? Adobe just released five new ones to make your life even better (or at least seem that way).

    Roll over each image to see the new filters in action.
BFF
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Crazy photos and vids, neighbors from hell, weed wacking as recreational sport – all from the land of MILFs and honey. The burbs like you've never seen them. Visit Burbia.