105%

Issue #61

by 105%-O-Matic May 20, 2008

Made from 100% materials.

Time heals all wounds . . . except amputations.

-Aaron Thielking

Nice to Chant at Re-Election Party, Mean to Yell at Birthday Party

"Four more years!"

-Patrick Cassels

Real Movie Titles That Would Probably Make For Terrible Pornos

- James and the Giant Peach
- The Fast and the Furious
- Exit Wounds

-Conor McKeon

My friend grew up Asian, so he says that's why he isn't into Asian girls. I think that makes a lot of sense, because I grew up fat...

-Josh Heller

Do you think it's rude for deaf people to talk with food in there hands?

-Danny C

Rich or Alzheimer's?

- You know, I can't remember the last time I spent less than 50 dollars on a meal? That includes breakfast.
- Does public transportation even exist anymore?
- Are you my wife?

-Amir Blumenfeld

If I was a ref at a Harlem Globetrotters game, I would call them for traveling, then throw them out if they argued, then steal some kid's popcorn.

-Kurtis Mitchell

Blind Date Revealed

"Ok, so I lied. In all honesty, I prefer moderately lengthed walks on the beach. So we're gonna have to turn around and walk back well before I get tired."

-Matt Vita

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