EVOLUTION, as understood by a Creationist:
A few hundred years ago, deep in the jungle, a girl monkey goes into labor.Monkey Boyfriend: You can do it, sweetie.
With a loud monkey noise, she gives birth.Monkey Doctor: It's a new species!
Monkey Boyfriend: We'll call it humans.
An elderly fish enters, pats the chimpanzee on the back.Fish: I'm proud of you, son.
Monkey Boyfriend: Thanks, dad.
(SIDE NOTE: The monkeys are not married.)Years later, the human boy is cornered by some predators. Human boy: Crap. Better evolution-ize.
The boy evolves some laser eyes, or possibly wings. He easily defeats all the predators.
CREATIONISM, as understood by an evolutionist:A kindly, bearded white man in a pointy hat and starry robe appears.
God: Sup.
He pulls out a small, oak wand and waves it around.God: Expecto existentia!
America is created, as well as some other stuff.Adam: Wait, what about these?
Adam holds up some large bones.God: Oh, those? Millions of years ago, a massive race of dragon-like animals roamed the Earth. Then they all died in a mass extinction. Same thing could happen to you, actually.
Adam: Really?
God: Naw, I just put those there as a goof. Now go start writing the Bible. It's already 4,000 B.C., there's no time to waste.
Adam: What does the "B.C." stand for?
God: Ah, you'll figure it out.
Recording...
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