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Chris Richman

The Perfect Girl vs. The Perfect Computer

by Chris Richman on


More surprising similarities from two seemingly unrelated things. Both the perfect girl and the perfect computer should have:
  • Sleek, solid constructions
  • Several compliant ports
  • Interior free of dust or cobwebs
  • Porn viewing potential
  • Extensive firmware interface
  • Quick start-ups
  • Adjustable volumes
  • Multiple hotkeys
  • Compatibility with your existing hardware
  • Upgrade potential
  • Floppy support
  • Virus-free systems

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Footsie

My boyfriend and I had started sleeping together, but hadn't been doing so for too long. We were still getting to know how kinky the other one was. So one night after hanging out he went to go get ready for bed I went and laid down in his bed naked, pretending to be asleep. I heard the door creak open, heard him walk quietly up to the foot of them bed, and begin slowly and... Read More » sensually licking my foot. I froze, completely repulsed and unsure how to react. I turned around to face him, and explain that I just wasn't ever going to be into that sort of thing, and could this even work out? . . .only to find his roommate's pitbull wagging her tail and licking away and my oblivious boyfriend still in the bathroom.