Word To Your Mother

So, I’m not very new to CollegeHumor. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve been coming here since I was a junior in high school. If not, then when I was a senior. it wasn’t until very recently, meaning a half an hour ago, that I realized that you can become a member and actually write stuff for this amazing site. (Big ups to the creators).

And then I realized that in order to write something, you need to be creative. So, here are a few guidelines that I like to follow when the creative juices aren’t flowing as well as they should be. You can play along at home too!

1. Rip off other people’s ideas. Just look at Shakespeare…and how many people rip off his work. But then again, he ripped of others works, and then used it over and over and over again.

2. Just tell everyone you’re an amazing writer. And if they ever ask to see proof, always have a really crappy poem or some sort of short story handy to show that you’re deep and your words have meaning. Case in point:

To that freshman girl that goes to every party on campus. I see you everywhere I go, you’re really quite hard to miss. Your Nalgene and your lanyard proud, your obnoxious behavior is, for some reason, allowed. You stumble with your group of four, to show everyone that you’re not the whore.

That’s just a little something i keep in my back pocket…kinda.

3. I really can’t think of anything else right now, so keep those two things in mind, you’ll be fine. Maybe I’ll think of some other things later. But until then…I’m going to bed.

-Pellegrino