Girl: I usually don’t do that on the first night.
Me: Wow that chloroform wore off quick. Are you immune or something?
…Girl: Was I better than the last girl you were with?
Me: Let’s go ask her. She is still chained to the radiator in the basement. Unless the dogs got to her. It’s only been a month she should be fine. I’m pretty sure you can survive a whole month without food or water.
…Girl: Those mirrors on the ceiling are sexy.
Me: What mirrors, that’s two-way glass. Mother likes to watch.
…Girl: I could see myself falling in love with you.
Me: Love is against the Master’s teachings. Hurry, I think I hear him coming.
Cool Pranks for Cats
Travel Posters for Lazy People
10 Reasons Why The Walking Dead Should Just Kill Carl
If Popular Songs Were Shakespearean Sonnets
Choose Your Own Adventure: Office Edition
If TV Channels were Your Family
You've had a lot of emotions about hockey, but "lust" is a first.
Oh, when I do it I get thrown out of the museum, but when it's a machine, it's "art"?
"Advice Number 1: Don't get involved with anyone like Don Draper."
I've always been into environmental awareness! Also, sexiness.
"Hair? Oh, this is gonna take a while."
Meanwhile in Japan, comedy websites are passing around cat videos and wondering why America is so weird.
At last, an explanation for the most mysterious nose in Hollywood.
She's been attending the Michael Jackson School of Cosmetics.
Your mom likes this list.
Levels: one. Time wasted: infinite.
