Q: Why does my boyfriend always want me to give him a b. j.?

A: Because he loves you more than anything and can’t find ways to express himself with words, so he lets you slob on it for a while.

Q: My boyfriend hates to go down on me, but I really love it. How should I bring it up without seeming needy?

A: Go down on him.

Q: How do I give the perfect b. j.?

A: Every guy’s preferences are different, but there is one universal rule: give a beej with no teeth, no talking, and with your hot friend watching.

Q: Why do guys always want me to swallow?

A: So they’ll respect you more for your cleanliness.

Q: I got my tongue pierced so I could give better head. Why does my boyfriend not like it?

A: I don’t know. It could be that you’re doing it wrong. It could also be that your boyfriend is an MRI machine.

Q: My boyfriend has a small penis, and I have big hands. How can I go down on him without making him feel inadequate?

A: He he… Sorry. (snicker)

Q: I really want to try deep-throating, but I have a sensitive gag reflex. How can I do this without gagging so much?

A: You could try eating some Orajel, as long as you rinse your mouth out before proceeding with the festivities. Failing that, you can always find the last girl’s boyfriend. (snicker)