The Best Break Up Ever

Sometimes in the course of dating someone, you get ot the point where the relationship is just no longer enjoyable. It happens. But eventually you will get to the point where you are actually looking forward to the break up. Where you can’t stand to be with this person anymore and everytime you see her/him you can hardly contain your excitement to say “I can’t do this anymore.” If you’re anything like me, breaking up with someone is one of the greatest pleasures in you life. There is planning involved and you know once you do it you’ll be left with a generally good feeling about your life. It’s like Christmas except that you get to decide when it will happen! A while ago when I was fantasizing about breaking up with a girlfriend the same way in which a dog might fantasize about eating a juicy steak, I came across a great idea on how to break up with someone. It really is pretty cruel, but the comedic value and originality far surpass any feelings of guilt. Laides and gentlemen, I give you the best break up idea I could come up with…

The Knock Knock Joke

Me: Listen (Insert name Here), there’s no really easy way to say this, so I’m just going to come out with it. Knock Knock.

Girl: Wait, what?

Me: (Insert name here), please. Let’s be mature about this. Knock Knock.

Girl: Um… who’s there?

Me: It’s over.

Girl: It’s over…who?

Me: It’s over, me and you. This isn’t a joke anymore. I’m serious.

Now from this point i’m not really sure how the dialogue would go from here. I’ve never actually been brave enough to try this break up idea in practice. But I encourage anyone thinking of ending things with their significant other to try this out and report back with the results. Good luck!