If Songs Could Fight: Throw Some D's VS. Livin' on a Prayer

The stage was set: for weeks, these two songs blared on jukeboxes at bars and clubs across the nation. Each claimed dominance of the scene, but there could only be one winner.

Livin’ on a Prayer entered the ring first, alone. Wearing a cowboy hat and boots, Livin’ took a moment to reassure his fans who questioned the battle by grabbing the mic, saying, “You live for the fight when that’s all that you got.”

The lights dimmed and Throw Some D’s came to the ring. Accompanied to the ring by This is Why I’m Hot and Glamorous, Throw taunted the older Livin’. “Don’t you see the big chain, don’t you see the big rims?” It was clearly Throw’s battle to lose.

The bell rang and the two squared off. Throw came out swinging and landed a few good shots on Livin’s jaw. Livin’ didn’t seem phased, however – upon closer inspection it was revealed that he was drunk on Bud Lights and now seemingly impervious to pain. Throw continued the onslaught but Livin’ just absorbed the beating.

Eventually Throw became frustrated. He was giving Livin’ everything he had but could not take him down. Thinking quickly, Throw grabbed the referee and asked for a time-out. With the ref distracted, Glamorous seized the opportunity and ran into the ring. She grabbed one of Throw’s rims and was about to hit Livin’ with it when he pleaded, “Take my hand. We’ll make it…I swear.” Glamorous stopped for a moment, off-put by Livin’s sincerity. She dropped the rim and helped Livin’ to his feet.

By that point, Throw had finished with the referee and saw Glamorous with Livin’. He couldn’t believe she had turned on him! With a new sense of determination, Throw shouted “Yeah, this is for my dogs! Yeah gangsters, hustlers, wanksters, busters!” He charged at Livin’ and Glamorous who both stepped out the way. Throw charged right out of the ring and onto the floor below.

This is Why I’m Hot ran to the other side to check on Throw. But as he was running, Sweet Home Alabama jumped from out of the crowd and caught him with a dropkick. Livin’ jumped out to tackle the fallen Throw, and an all out brawl ensued. Despite the sneak attack, This and Throw soon regained the upper hand. They pounded Livin’ and Sweet, hitting them with a barrage of suplexes and piledrivers. Thinking fast, This tossed Throw two tables. They placed Livin’ and Sweet on top of them, and did double flips to slam their adversaries through. The ref counted one, two, three, and Throw Some D’s was declared the winner.

Glamorous tended to the fallen Livin’ and Sweet, but it mattered not to Throw. He was seen picking up Hollaback Girl on the way out.