Are You F*cking Retarded?

I meet them every day. They are everywhere: in my classes, at my office, in the park, at the bar, and in my very own house. They are the people that make me say “Are you f*cking retarded?” Want to become one of them? Do any of the following:

• 
  Go backwards at a buffet/salad bar.

• Drive 10 mph under in the left lane.

• Not know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

• When I order a Pepsi, ask “Is Coke okay?”

• Be the offspring of first cousins.

• Hit “Reply to All” instead of “Reply.”

• Not “get” Seinfeld.

• Tuck in your shirt and not wear a belt.

• Use a calculator to split a tab.

• Have an IQ below 70.

• Ask me to help you move.

• Ask me to help you paint.

• Offer to help me move/paint.

• Have Down Syndrome.