DRUNK: Its for the good of the world

So you know how it is when you move back home for the summer, everything kinda slows down when you’re “technically” still on the college party pace. I guess moms tend to notice these things, if it’s the fact the guest room now smells of crown and marbs 24/7 or the alarming sound of me knocking every picture off the wall while trying to find my room at 4 A.M… I don’t know. And every morning I hear the same 5 words come out of that womans mouth; “it leads to poor decisions”. Now, yes, every once and a while I might slip up (close to2000 times now)and do something I highly regret. BUT then I started thinking back on the times I’ve drank myself to a blur and done what would beforthe good ofhumanity.

• I’ve helped a homeless man clean out my house for him to keep any left over crap after I moved out, and I bought him the essentials (steel reserve and black & milds)
  
• I’ve marched in a campaign parade after shots of Jim Beam all morning.
• Playedpong all afternoon then cleaned a stretch of the historic town for an “Adopt-A-Mile” foundation.
• I an attempt to get drunk faster I have given blood numerous times”.
• To reduce anxiety, I’ve bonged beers in order to speak clearly (yeah, clearly) to incoming freshmen about college life.
• When the best man does not have the couple-to-be’s getaway car decorated one hou prior to the wedding, I’ve happily stepped in with a 12 pack and helped with the can need.
• While floating the river, Iproudly pick any stray floating cans out of the river and dispose of them in the nearest recycling bin.

Not to mention fights broken up, grenades fallen on, andenglish lessons administered to the new immigrants that moved in across the street. I think it’s fair to say that I’ve done my share for the ecomony, community, and the future of the world…Now lets all get plowed on schlager and give back!