Overheard dialogue between Paris Hilton and, lesser known hotel heiress, Juneau Ramada

Paris: … so I’ll be there for about a month.
Juneau:Wow, that’s quite a story.
Paris:Especially when you read it in The Enquirer the morning after.I couldn’t remember a thing.
Juneau:Is your dad mad at you?
Paris:‘Course not, how could he be?I’m daddy’s little princess and he knows those bad cops are framing me.He says it’s just like O.J.
Juneau:Really?
Paris:Totally.
Juneau:Well, what’s going to happen to your dog while you’re there?
Paris:Actually, I was wondering if you’d take care of Tinkerbell.
Juneau:Oh wow, I’m really flattered but I’ve already agreed to take care of Nicole Richie’s dog.She’s having her own DUI hearing soon and wanted Honeychild to be looked after.
Paris:What?That’s shit!
Juneau:Actually, it’s a Shih Tzu.
Paris:You’re siding with her now?She doesn’t even have a hotel chain.Heiresses are supposed to stick together!
Juneau:I know the code, ok?You don’t have to remind me.
Paris:Well, you’re not following it.I bet you’re even friends with Madrid Laquinta.
Juneau:You take that back!No one likes her, but she’s not the biggest puta.She doesn’t even have sex videos online.
Paris:He said he was gonna destroy that ok!?!I can’t help it he lied; he’s too smart and tricks me.
Juneau:A gerbil could trick you…

strong>Paris bursts into tears
Paris:All I want is for people to like me, but everyone seems to haaaaate meeee.

strong>Juneau begins to storm off, but is conflicted
Juneau: …………. shit.Aw, shh, shh.Quiet down now, it’s ok.No one hates you Paris.They’re just jealous.You’re a beautiful woman, an exciting celebrity, and a smart …. dresser.There, there calm down.I’ll look after Tinkerbell if you want.
Paris:sniff Really?
Juneau:Yeah, us heiresses have to stick together.
Paris:Thanks Juneau, you’re the best.

strong>Madrid Laquinta stops eavesdropping and reveals herself
Madrid:So, yous think just becaws yous are Americanos yous are betters than yo?
Paris & Juneau:Tu estas loco puta!