"¢When your RA puts a jar of condoms outside his door for the whole floor to take, don't waste your time knocking on his door and getting into theological and philosophical arguments with him. Drive home your feelings about pre-marital relations by poking holes in all the condoms.

[picture:1702224|size=small]"¢When you see students binge drinking, don't go over and offer to be their designated driver. It's not your responsibility to save them""that's Jesus' job.

"¢Despite their feigned protests, trust us""your roommates indeed wish to watch "The Passion" with you.

"¢Just as it was in high school, you must never mention your nocturnal emissions to anyone.

"¢Why not start your own Bible show on Campus TV?!