Zach Oberman

Lectures: The Drinking Game

With the school year underway, many students have been hit by the realization that college courses are really boring. Fortunately, learning doesn’t have to be a chore. Just like Driver’s Ed and your Bar Mitzvah, any lecture can be made a lot more exciting by turning it into a drinking game. The rules are as follows (to be played with beer unless otherwise specified):

Rule Number 1: Someone walks in, looks around with a dazed expression and asks, “Is this Astro 10?” – 1 shot.

Rule Number 2: Professor uses unfamiliar vocabulary – .25 shot

[picture:56175|size=small]Rule Number 3: Someone appears to be taking very thorough notes on their computer while actually looking at MySpace, IM’ing, or playing Bejeweled – .5 shot. If they are looking at porn – 2 shots.

Rule Number 4: Professor asks a question; is asked to repeat the question – .5 shot per repetition.

Rule Number 5: Someone raises hand, rephrases what the professor JUST said in the form of a question, then seems smugly self-satisfied when the professor confirms it – 1 shot. If it’s you – 2 shots; punch yourself in the testicles.

Rule Number 6: You make the conscious decision to stop taking notes, figuring you’ll borrow them from some smart looking (read: Asian) kid later – All subsequent shots are to be bourbon; 1 shot.

Rule Number 7: Someone’s phone rings and they frantically try to shut it off – .5 shot for every time they say they are sorry while not actually turning it off.

Rule Number 8: Professor assigns reading and class melodramatically groans even though it was already on the syllabus – 1 shot, unless player shouts, “Is that all you got, pussy??”

Like this Article
URL Close
uPick
Rough Love Dating stories See All »
Up +502 Down
Fellowship of the Bedroom

A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.