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Yo Momma Jokes by Religion

by Chris Richman on

The fast-paced, no holds barred world of Yo Momma battling can strike anywhere and at any time. To help you be prepared, here’s a handy cheatsheet for insults geared at mommas of various world religions.


Islam:
Yo momma so old, she used to baby-sit Mohammad.
Yo momma so fat, she don’t wear a veil, she wears a curtain.

Catholicism:
Yo momma so ugly, Jesus don’t forgive her when she forgets makeup.
Yo momma so fat, she went back for thirds in the Eucharist line.
Buddhism:
You momma so stupid, when you told her you were lookin’ for enlightenment, she bought you a desk lamp.
You momma so fat, even Buddha himself thinks she could lose a couple pounds.

Judaism:
Yo momma so cheap, even the Jews call her Jewish.
Yo momma so fat, she was the whale who swallowed Jonah.
Hinduism:
You momma so fat, she weighed less in her last life as a manatee.
Yo momma so fat, she don’t do yoga, just yogurt.

Voodoo:
Yo momma so fat, we had to stick her doll with javelins just so she could feel it.
Yo momma so ugly, her zombies won’t even date her.

Wiccan:
Yo momma so stupid, when I asked if she could do a spell on my ex-girlfriend, she was like, “K…a…t…i…e…”
Yo momma so ugly, her broom’s the only wood she ever rides.
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