So you’ve seen her in class a few times and you just can’t take your eyes off her. She is one of the most beautiful women you have ever seen without downloading and the problem is she hardly knows your exist. Sound familiar?
Well there’s no need to live an empty, lonely, miserable life without her anymore because as an experienced lover of women, it is my duty to provide the loveless with some fool-proof steps that will not only get her to notice you, she will practically throw herself at you because you are so friggin’ smooth and irresistible.
First, you want to remain present around her, but not too in her face. When in class, sit close enough to her that you can still smell her hair, but far enough away that that neither she nor anyone else around you will notice. This is a good way for the two of you to ease into the relationship. You don’t want to come off too strong by doing something overly aggressive like starting a conversation.
Forging a relationship with her outside of a school setting is the hardest and most important step. A chance meeting on the street or in an alley at night is a great way to break the ice. To improve the possibility of the chance meeting, I highly recommend doing a little recognisance on her. Case out her house, known hang-outs, place of employment etc. and if possible try to get a good handle on the specific times she goes places.If you know when and where she is leaving the house you have a much better chance at bumping into her and stopping for a chat.
Here are some very important tips that you should follow when doing your secret recon missions:
- Start by finding out where she lives. This info can be used as a reference point for her comings and goings.
- Try to remain hidden. Again, you don’t want to come off too strong by allowing her to see you. Everything will run a lot smoother if you are able to remain unseen, at least for the time being. Personal experience indicates that trees and shrubs are great places to lay low.
- Do not masturbate with lubricant if you are hiding in a tree. I know it is tempting to break out the Vaseline when you are sitting in the tree staring at an obstructed view of a silhouette that could either be her changing in her room or a coat rack with legs that don’t seem to end; but if you lube up while hiding in a tree, you are asking for trouble.
Finally, if the unthinkable ever were to happen and you find yourself face to face with her, your best bet is to turn around and run away. Even if you gather the courage to initiate a conversation with her and you two eventually fall in love, someday it will be found out that you were the one who fell out of her tree with your pants down and ran away before her disgruntled father could give you back your jar of Vaseline. Save yourself the heartache and the ruptured testicle and trust me, just keep your distance. It’s better this way.



8 Things the Internet Ruined
Winter Pick-Up Lines
If TV Channels were Your Family
Job Interview Dos and Don'ts
Dating Dos and Don'ts
15 Phrases You'll Hear During Finals Week, and What They Really Mean
Yoga pants so tight, they've become a part of her.
Wow, I guess having 5 blades does make a difference.
"Things Stoners Haven't Turned into Bongs" -- The Shortest Book in the World
Journalists finally revealing some hard-to-face truths
Kate Upton blocks shot of a beautiful sunset
Roommate Contract: (1) I will make your life a living hell.
Ways to meet women if you're tired of being normal.
Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.