Staff Picks

Matt

New way of getting drunk.....for girls at least

by Matt on

Found this on www.ASKaCOLLEGEkid.com, Enjoy!

Hey everyone,

My buddy sent me this the other day and I just though it was hysterical. I feel like I’ve heard of it before, but there has been no story behind it. One of the college kids’ dad is a police officer and we’re going to confirm it with him to see if it actually works. Needless to say it’s a funny story.




Friends, Best Friends, Cousins, FRAT, Lovers, Ex-Girlfriends, Jasper,…….

I am sending this mass email out, because I feel this story needs to be told on a grand scale. What you are about to hear you may not believe, but it is true. I think this is the most genius thing I have heard in some time.

Last night (Sunday night) I called my parents to talk to them for the week. When I talked to my mom she said listen to this…..

This past Friday night Southridge High School (small town next to Jasper) had a dance. It is mandatory that anyone that comes to the dances must take a breathalyzer before they enter the gym by a police officer and after.

Well, these two girls wanted to drink and get drunk before they went to the dance. How could they though knowing they had to take a breathalyzer to get in and when they left.

They decided to take the largest tampons they could buy and soak them in vodka. Then 20 minutes before they went to the dance they inserted them into their vagina’s.

They arrived at the dance took the breathalyzer and passed with flying colors. While dancing and having a good time their bodies started to absorb the vodka and they started to get drunk. The teachers new they were acting funny later in the dance, so they had them take another breathalyzer. They blew a point 0. The girls said they didn’t do anything and were just having fun. The teachers couldn’t prove anything so they let them be. When they left they passed it again. They never got into trouble at all. They of course started telling people and the story led to my mom.

Somebody called my mom, because they knew she works for a gynecologist. So she called him and asked about it. He said that the the vodka would be absorb and go straight to the blood stream getting them drunk. Being alcohol it will not cause any problems down there. Obviously you won’t ever blow anything, because you aren’t swallowing it so it doesn’t reach the lungs. Only way to get caught is if they take you in for a blood test. He thought is was genius himself and has never heard of anyone doing this.

Girls you now have the male version of a flask.

I thought my mom was going to say they squeezed it out in the punch or into their drinks later at the dance, but no!

THEY TOOK IT STRAIGHT UP – no pun intended.

This has to go into a movie,
Chase



Cheers,


The College kids

See More Popular Articles
Like this Article
URL Close
Matt

Matt

View Profile
Recent Articles
More
uPick
Work Sucks Awful work stories See All »
Up +59 Down
Whiny inmate

I worked at a prison as a corrections officer (prison guard) and there was a particular inmate there who always complained about everything. For three months I endured his rants on how the lights were too bright, the rooms too hot, the blankets too scratchy, and so on. Obviously this is prison and no one gets luxury accommodations. I reached the end of my rope one morning... Read More » when I had to go down the run and wake him up at 7 AM for transport somewhere else in the state for a medical procedure. The guy is all grumpy, complaining about how I'm getting him up at the "ass crack of dawn." He demanded to be allowed time to take a shower, heat and drink some coffee and have a smoke. The van taking him away was already waiting for him and I knew for a fact that he'd taken a shower before going to bed the night before. I told him there wasn't time for any of that, he just had to get dressed and get to the van. He begins swearing and ranting about how inhumanely we were treating him and after months of his complaints I couldn't hold it in anymore. "I know, it sucks how early you have to get up to get your free medical care, huh?" I told him. He was immediately silent . He got dressed and left in a huff. I later found out how he wrote a grievance to the warden about my comment. Inmate complaints are occasionally reason for worry, so I was nervous when the warden called me in to his office. It turned out he just thought my comment was hilarious and told me to keep up the good work.