Ways to Effectively Cockblock Yourself

At Dinner

• “So your last name is Goldstein, huh? Well, congratulations for escaping der Fuhrer’s wrath.”
  
• Wear a blazer with jorts, claiming you were unsure if this was a formal or casual place.
• “Man, I coulda sworn you were anorexic, but after watching you wolf down that pasta I was clearly wrong. So, how long have you been bulimic?”
• “My you have lovely lips. All the better to S my D with, my dear.”
• Brag about the fact that you are a level 37 Elf Mage with a +9 Sword of Destiny. (Sorry, this one should be under ‘Foolproof Ways to Seal the Deal.’)
  

• “I can’t remember; are you the one that likes the “Her Pleasure” or “Ultra Ribbed” condoms?”
• “Man, your O-Face looks pretty stupid…wanna keep going?”
• “Your choice: Creed’s or KoRn’s Greatest Hits?”
• “Are you into role playing? Yea? Ok, how about I be the girl and you be the guy.”
• “You wanna try something new? Ok, here’s one I’ve been practicing on my dog.”