A Sit-Down Between Goofy And Pluto

Pluto: Woof!

Goofy: Umm…all right. Now, there’s something we need to talk about—

Pluto: Ba-ruff!

Goofy: Are you going to let me finish? Anyway, you and I are the only two dogs here, so we need to stick together, right?

Pluto: Arf!

Goofy: Wait—“arf”? Is that seriously your answer?

Pluto: Ruff!

Goofy: Do you even understand a word of English?

Pluto: Gruff!

Goofy: You have no idea what I’m saying. Wonderful. This is just great.

Pluto: Woof!

Goofy: Are you fucking retarded?! All the other animals learned English, why can’t you?

Pluto: Yarf!

Goofy: I’m even a dog just like you, and I know English! What the hell’s the matter with you?

Pluto: Ruff woof!

Goofy: Great. There’s only two dogs here, and one of us is a tard. This is wonderful.

Pluto: Arf!

Goofy: You know what, this is bullshit! Why do I have to be the educated dog?

Pluto: Yip!

Goofy: Why do I have to wear clothes? Why can’t I run around naked, pissing and shitting wherever I go?

Pluto: Gruff!

Goofy: To hell with this! I’m done being a smart dog! (Takes off clothes and gets on all fours) And I’m done speaking English! Woof! Arf!

Pluto: Roof!

Goofy: Woof!

Pluto: Yarf!

Goofy: Ba-ruff!

(Pluto stops barking and starts laughing maniacally. He stands on two legs and smacks Goofy on the head.)

Pluto: Sucker! (Pluto puts on Goofy’s clothes and walks into the other room.) Hey guys, it’s me, Goofy!

Mickey: Hey Goofy!

Goofy: Woof?