My Jell-O is red,
And I enjoy puzzles,
But I would eat your f*cking face
If it wasn’t for this muzzle,
I’m always strapped down,
So I pretend my bed is a ship,
They call me a cannibal,
But I only ate the tips,
I have four padded walls,
Because I’m an insane asylum resident,
Is it because I have 100 hundred imaginary friends,
Or that I claim I’m the president,
I sleep 14 hours a day,
And take pills to keep stable,
Just because I killed my family,
And displayed their heads on the table,
The 10 Ornaments on Your Christmas Tree
The True Meaning of Christmas, According to Christmas Movies
The Absolute Worst Case Scenario Handbook: Holiday Shopping Edition
Amazing Dad Magic
The Internet Justice League
Five NEXT-LEVEL Handshakes
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
