When LonelyGirl15 was revealed to be a hoax I felt devastated and alone. My belief system had been rocked to it's very core. And then came the depression. I moped for weeks until my Mom recommended I "branch out", "make new friends" and "stop peeing in the sink."

I checked Craigslist and looked at the Casual Encounters section for about 3 hours. Then I checked the Just Friends area. In there I found a guy with the screen name JC Supafly who was looking for an email pen pal relationship.

So I shot him a letter via the World Wide Interweb:

Dear JC,

My name is Mike and I am a 22 year old dude from New Jersey. Would you like to talk?

-Mike

Then he sent:

Yo Mike,

Sure I'd like to talk. I'm here in Queens. What's your deal?

-J to the C

JC-

Uh, no deal. Boring summer. Been depressed since the LonelyGirl 15 thing. Then I met this girl Hope in a summer class at my college. She looks just like LonelyGirl15! And I'm pretty sure she's real! But I'm too scared to talk to her…

Mike-

Oh forget that. Women ain't nothing but a headache. I once was getting with this real crazy chick Mary. She was into all sorts of kinky stuff like washing my feet. It ended with me dead and humiliated. Somehow I rose again.

And at one point she even got between me and my boys and people started to think she was part of the crew or something.

Out.

JC-

Yeah, women can be weird like that. And they always go for assholes, what's with that?


M-

Yeah. I knew this jag off Pilot. Real prick. He was always neck deep in muff.

JC-

Yeah. I tried to talk to my Dad. We have problems communicating. He always says how he was just like me.

M-

Yeah, I feel that. My Dad takes it a step further. He says he IS me. He's got some issues.

JC-

Well, atleast some cool movies are coming out. You want to see Pirates?

M-
One word: Super Gay.

If I wanted to see a guy in eye heavy eyeliner and stupid hair talking to his monkey, I'd go drinking with Robert Smith.

JC-
Haha. Hey listen, it's been great talking to you this past week. My computer is going in the shop for a bit. But actually something came up and I will be in NY this summer. You want to chill?

M-
Sure, man. I got a Wii. Let's rock that shit.


JC-

Alright man. I'll probably be in next week. What's your number? And, this is weird I never thought to ask- what's your name? Mine is Michael Caulfield.

Michael Caulfield-

Jesus H(omeboy) Christ.

Hit up my cell: 215- 979- ****

Oh, and bring a fish and a bottle of Deer Park. I'll show you some David Blain shit.

Peace.