Myth:SuperAIDS is a kick ass form of regular AIDS.
Truth:In reality, SuperAIDS has little to do with regular AIDS.While regular AIDS slowly degrades the immune system slowly turning the body into a disease punching bag, SuperAIDS immediately renders the victim stupid and slightly resembling Tom Hank’s left nad.The host then proceeds to pour a glowing greenish fluid of a Jell-O-like consistency from every orifice.Granted no two cases are exactly alike, most victims typically explode into moonbeams and a thousand tiny eggs from which midgets are born.
Myth: You can only catch SuperAIDS from a previously infected person.
Truth: SuperAIDS is the single most efficient pathogen known to man.It can infect anyone, anywhere, anytime.Not unlike a ninja, it sneaks up on unsuspecting carriers and promptly judo chops them in the goblet (it exists, don’t question me).For the most part however, people enjoy passing out SuperAIDS to those they find annoying or below their comic understanding.For example—>Jim: F1R5T!! Greg:Great you figured out how to count, congrats, you now have super aids.
Myth:SuperAIDS mutated from AIDS sometime in the late 90’s.
Truth: Although little is known of the actual origin of SuperAIDS, many anthropologists and ridiculously high Cocoa Puffs enthusiasts believe to have traced its ectoplasm trail back to a rough night between Michael Jackson and a weed-whacker shortly before the invention of the microwave.
So what have we learned?SuperAIDS is perhaps the only disease on this planet readily passed and willingly contracted without consideration of cultural consequence and moral ineptitude, except Pokemon cards.Thus, I call on you, the helpless reader to embrace your shattered innocence and go forth and tastefully tag as many noobs, dumbasses, and character commenters as you can.Because frankly, the world could use more midgets to attack Dennis Rodman’s kneecaps and I just hit you with the greatest gift your ass will ever receive.Congratulations, you now have SuperAIDS.
iPhone Airplane Modes for Other Vehicles
The 25 Best Sitcom Couples
What Your Ski Tracks Say About You
The Absolute Worst Case Scenario Handbook: Holiday Shopping Edition
What Everyone in Your Family is Bringing for Thanksgiving
News Feed History of the World: January 2012
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
