Things You Don't Want to Hear From The Person Next To You as You Sit Down For Your 6-Hour Flight Home

“Have you found Jesus?”

“I may not be the best-looking person on this flight, but I’m the only one talking to you.”

“Do nose-hair trimmers count as electronic devices?”

“You can tell when your water breaks, right?

“Hi, I’m from the future. May I share my wisdom with you?”

“Do you overreact to flatulence? I mean, like, get upset or whatever?”

“Knock knock…C’mon, Knock Knock…It’s funny, I promise. Knock knock…”

“Have you found Allah?”

“WAAAAAAAAA.”