Yea! Summer’s here man! No more school for a few months! PARTAYYYY!
If you’ve felt this way recently, I have two words for you: fuck you.
“How can such a handsome man have so much hostility?” you might ask. The answer, my friends, is because my school is on the quarter system, meaning I begin school about three weeks later than everybody else and finish almost a month and half later.
So please, if you are fortunate to be on summer vacation, have some consideration for your friends who are still in school next time you decide to call them at 3 in the morning yelling indecipherably into the phone about some sweet beer pong shot. I didn’t wake you up back in early September when I was still at home, did I? Ok, except for that one time, but it was a double bounce! Double! That’s three cups! But I digress…
Also, do you think you guys might wanna leave some jobs for the rest of us? While all the rest of you have successful summer internships I am left to scour Craigslist for a part time job that doesn’t require overalls.
So again, if you know someone who is still in school, try not to pester them with trivial late night phone calls. Instead, how about you visit them? I mean, if you are going to prevent your friend from his studies, might as well be there with him to knock back a few. And if you are on the quarter system and still in school, may God have mercy on your soul.
Thanks, and I’ll see you guys in like two and a half weeks.
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I was having sex with my girlfriend with the movie gladiator playing quietly in the background. She finished right before the epic scene which prompted me to raise my arms and yell "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?"



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