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Jeff Rosenberg

How It Happened

by Jeff Rosenberg on

Year: 1999
Two T.V. executives walk into a dorm where 2 friends are hanging out in the common room, smoking and playing video games

T.V. Exec 1- What’s up guys?
Friend 1- Who are you?
T.V. Exec 2- We just came to hang out for a little.
Friend 2- (to T.V. Executive 1) Are you a cop?
TV1- No. We just want to hang out and talk.
F2- I think he’s a cop.
F1- If you are a cop you have to tell us. I don’t know why but that’s what they always say on Law and Order.
F2: STABLERRRR!

Friends high five

TV2- He’s not a cop.
TV1- We’d just like to sit here and observe you for a little if that’s okay with you. Act like we’re not even here.
F1- First tell us if you’re a cop. Be honest.
TV1- (Frustrated) I’m going to be very blunt boys. We’re looking for a fresh, hot new idea for a brand new cartoon show. We’ve been racking our brains for months and just can’t come up with a solid idea.
TV2- Any ideas fellas?
F1- I got an idea. (starts coughing smoke)
F1- Alright, number 1, it’s gotta be under water
F1- Yeah, yeah.
TV1- What about characters?
F1- Shut up suit! I was just getting to that.
F2- Alright, the main character is…a hot dog.
F1- Or a checkerboard.
F2- Waffle.
Both: SPONGE!
TV1- I like it…
F1- So yeah, like this sponge or whatever has crazy misadventures with his buddy –
F2- Who’s a fucking HAMBURGER!
F1- Dude, No.
F2- So the best friend is – a starfish and they just do all this crazy shit together.
TV2- Like what?
F1- Shit I don’t know. Maybe the sponge lives next to some douche bag squid or something or they work at the same place –
F2-Hamburger joint?
F1- Sure dude. And like the burger joint is owned by like some guy who’s a –
F2- Crab?
F1- Fine, whatever it doesn’t matter.
F2- And he lives in a sea shell. Wait, a banana. No, no. I got it. A pineapple.

(TV Executive 2 quickly scribbles down notes into a little pad)

TV2- This is gold.
TV1- The sponge can’t be naked though.
F1- Then fucking throw some gay ass pants on him or something. Do I have to think of everything?
TV1- Brilliant!
F2- One last thing.
TV1- Sure.
F2- His other friend is a squirrel in a space suit.
TV1: Done.

The T.V. Executives exit

Present day…
The two friends are again stoned and watching T.V. They’re flipping through the channel and get to SpongeBob Square Pants.

F1- I love this show!
F2- I’d rather watch Aqua Teen.

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