Article

Are You Going Back To School Next Semester?

by Jake Hurwitz on




Just answer the questions below and see if you're heading back to school next semester or headed off to work at your dad's plumbing supply company!




Your favorite thing to do in your dorm room was always:
Watching television or reading quietly. (0 points)
Watching porn very loudly, and ejaculating wherever you deemed fit.. (1 point)
Hitting the walls with a mallet. (2 points)
Torturing animals and smearing poop on the window. (3 points)
You spent ______ studying for finals.
Countless hours. (0 points)
half an hour the day of. (1 point)
No time at all. (2 points)
Sh*t, finals happened? (3 Points)
The last thing your professor said to you was:
Have a great summer, see you next semester! (0 points)
Have a great summer! (1 point)
Have a nice life!. (2 points)
I hate you! (3 points)
The high point of this year was:
Making the Dean's list. (0 points)
Getting drunk at all the football games. (1 point)
Getting completely sh*tfaced at every football, basketball and field hockey game. (2 points)
Setting fire to that goat. (3 points)
At school you kept your shower:
Very clean at all times. (0 points)
Pretty clean, but still, it's a dorm shower. (1 point)
Dirty but tolerable. (2 points)
On the front lawn after you uprooted it and chucked it out the window. (3 points)
Your RA was:
A real dick (0 points)
A real dick (1 point)
A real dick (2 points)
Pimp slapped (3 points)

Your common kitchen was essentially used for:
Pretty much nothing (0 points)
Making Jello shots (1 point)
Making pot brownies (2 points)
Making meth (3 points).

You needed a little extra money on the side this semester, so you:
Worked at the student bookstore. (0 points)
Stole lots of change from all your roommates. (1 point)
Sold dorm furniture. (2 points)
Robbed bitches. (3 points)

At the last party you went to you:
Played some beer pong and hung out. (0 points)
Chugged a water bottle full of vodka and puked. (1 point)
I don't even remember. (2 points)
Stabbed a guy. (3 points)


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