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Batman Catches The Riddler by Surprise

by Tim O'Donnell on

In an abandoned warehouse in , The Riddler finishes writing a note and laughs.

Riddler: Wow, I really have really out done myself on this one. Batman will never figure out this riddle in time to stop me from robbing Gotham Second National Bank! But I’ll send the note with the clues to give him a sporting chance.

Batman walks through the front door of the warehouse

Batman: Hello, anybody…oh there you are. OK, Riddler, I’ve caught you. You’re coming with me.

Riddler: Batman! This can’t be! I haven’t even sent you the riddle yet, and even that was only supposed to take you to Gotham Second National Bank! How did you find me?

Batman: Well, there’s only like 5 abandoned warehouses in Gotham, so whenever one of you wierdos escapes from Arkum Asylum I usually just check those places first. And sure enough, here you are.

Riddler: Well, do you want to try to figure out the riddle now anyway? You know, just for kicks? I’ll bet you can’t figure it out

Batman: Well, to be honest I don’t really see the point. I mean, I already have you right here.

Riddler: Yeah…

Batman: Plus you already told me that the answer was going to be the Gotham Second National Bank.

Riddler: Oh yeah…Damn

Batman: So are you ready to go peacefully?

Riddler: I guess. I haven’t even had time to assemble my henchmen yet. I might as well.

Batman: Sounds good.

Riddler: Wait…I could change the riddle now. Ya know, like, make it about somewhere else and we could do that instead?

Batman: Yeah, actually that sounds like fun. OK, I’ll go back to the Bat Cave and…

Batman grabs The Riddler by the back of the neck.

Batman: Syke!

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Tim O'Donnell

Tim O'Donnell

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Search and Siezure

When I was 16, I was walking home one night from my girlfriend's (at the time) like any other night. Now, as a teen, I had a shaved head, but that's as far as it goes for me looking like "a bad ass". I was super straight edge. I got to the corner across the street from my apartment, and I was waiting patiently at the light to cross, when all of a sudden I hear the... Read More » wailers and see flashing lights coming in my direction. Two cops get out of their car, tell me to come over and proceed to start hassling me. Given where I lived (tantamount to gang territory) and the fact that I was a teen out past 11PM, this was annoying, but not a huge surprise. The first question they asked me was "where am I going?" I said home. They asked where home is, and I could point to my window from where I was standing. That wasn't good enough. They decided they were going to demand that I "empty my pockets on the hood of the car". I refused, at which point they accused me of having something to hide. But what they didn't know was that I was taking classes in Canadian law at my high school, and had already covered the section on statutes on search and seizure and probable cause. So I told them flat out: "Give me your badge number, and I'll empty my pockets. And, when you find nothing there, I'll be down at your station tomorrow with a lawyer and I won't leave until I have your job because I gave you no probable cause to stop me, let alone undergo a search and seizure of my personal belongings. And if you don't like it, fuck off". Needless to say, they got back in their car and told me to go home. And I did, smiling.