Bars are awesome. Why not everywhere else?

Bars are a special, magical place. They’re exclusive because you need a special card to get in (there’s some dude in your dorm with a laminating machine who can make you one), everyone is having fun and it’s full of people whose sole purpose is to get you wasted.

However, we all act differently when we’re in them, but why? How would we be treated if we acted in other situations the same way that we do in bars? Let’s see.

In line to get concert tickets:
Bar Guy: [Cuts in front of the fifty other people waiting to get tickets, waving money in the ticket seller’s face] Hey hey hey! Let me get three tickets for Ben Folds!
Ticket seller: No sir, you’ll have to get to the back of the line.
BG: No seriously, I’ll make it worth your while.
TS: No seriously, you have to get to the back of the line.
BG: Fuck you, bitch. I want my tickets now.
TS: Sir, you have to go to the back of the line.
[BG goes to the back of the line, waits, finally gets his tickets and pays the same amount that he would have if he’d been taken care of right away.]

In class:
Professor: Alright everyone, I just took role call, if I did not call your name, I will have to ask you to leave and speak to the registrar.
BG: Whoa, what the fuck? I should totally be on the list.
P: I’m sorry sir, you’re not on the list, I’ll have to ask you to leave.
BG: No, seriously, it’s cool. I know the guy who wrote the textbook.
P: Sir, this is a Shakespeare class. He’s been dead for several hundred years.
BG: What the fuck, man. Just let me in.
P: Look, you have to be registered for the course. If you won’t leave, I’ll have to call campus security.
BG: Fine, call campus security. They’ll tell you that I AM registered and you’re just being a douchenozzle.
P: Alright, I’m going to call security. Folks, I’m sorry. This will be just a minute.
[While the professor is calling campus security, Bar Guy pussies out and sneaks out of the back of the class.]

At church:
Minister: I will now lead us in a reading of Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians.
BG: Oh my God! I love this letter! [BG begins screaming at the top of his lungs] PAUL, CALLED TO BE AN APOSTLE OF…
M: [Interrupting BG] Excuse me, would you mind sitting down and keeping quiet? People came here to listen to me tell the Word of God, not you.
BG: Shut up man! This letter is awesome! CHRIST JESUS BY THE WILL OF GOD AND OUR BROTHER…
M: Sir, this is a sacred house of worship and your outbursts are bothersome to your fellow parishoners.
BG: Dude, I came here to have fun! Quit killing my buzz! SOSTHENES TO THE CHURCH THAT IS IN CORINTH…
M: That’s it. [The Minister comes down from the altar, punches BG in the face and throws him out of the church.]
BG: Fuck you, man. This church sucked anyway. WOOHOO! Let’s go to First Baptist!