Terrorists have changed a lot over the past 15 years. They've left the big screen and popped up in the middle east. They've abandoned their dreams of big bank accounts and world domination in favor of inciting actual terror. It's true, today's terrorists are a long ways off from the terrorists of yesteryear, but which terrorists are better?

Accuracy
Pretty bad, 100% chance of missing intended target '90s action movie terrorists
Pretty good, 100% chance of blowing up self. al-Qaida terrorists
Winner – Draw

Allies
At least one band of renegade ninjas, a misleadingly hot chick '90s action movie terrorists
The Loose Change guys al-Qaida terrorists
Winner – '90s action movie terrorists

Enemies
Arnold Schwartzenagger, 007, extended countdown sequences, Harrison Ford, MAYBE Sylvester Stallone '90s action movie terrorists
Freedom, liberty, bunker busters, Harrison Ford al-Qaida terrorists
Winner – '90s action movie terrorists

Costume
Fancy suits and cocktail dresses '90s action movie terrorists
Sheet wrapped around whole body, turban al-Qaida terrorists
Winner – '90s action movie terrorists

Secret Headquarters
Lavish mansion, underground laboratory '90s action movie terrorists
Cave al-Qaida terrorists
Winner – '90s action movie terrorists

Video Quality
24 frames per second, crisp and clear '90s action movie terrorists
Discount digital camcorder quality, poor lighting, bad white balance al-Qaida terrorists
Winner – '90s action movie terrorists

Memorable One-Liner
"The bridge it OUT!" '90s action movie terrorists
"Death to infidels." al-Qaida terrorists
Winner – '90s action movie terrorists

Fatal Flaw
Leaving the hero alone in a room to die '90s action movie terrorists
Success al-Qaida terrorists
Winner – '90s action movie terrorists

Goal
$1,000,000,000 '90s action movie terrorists
72 virgins al-Qaida terrorists
Winner – Draw (please don't make me choose)

Overall Winner: '90s action movie terrorists (7-0-2)
Not even close. Society has made great advancements in technology over the last 15 years, but we seem to be working backwards in the field of terrorism. Today's terrorists just aren't cutting it. They're going have to start living like rock stars and hijacking satellites if they plan on making any fans. '90s action movie terrorists are the clear winner.