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Chris Han

System Requirements

by Chris Han on

Consult your box side panel for details.

World of Warcraft
- Pentium 4 processor 2.4 ghz
- 512mb RAM
- desire to stay indoors for abnormal amounts of time

Microsoft Access
- 170 Mb of Disk Space
- A boring job

MacBook
- Internet Connection
- $2000
- Sense of superiority

Book
- Ability to Read

Microsoft Solitaire
- A computer manufactured any time the past fifteen years.

Heelys Roller Shoes
- Balance
- Two feet
- Parents who will buy you anything

Pink Floyd’s The Wall on DVD
- DVD Player
- 95 minutes of free time
- 2 grams of good pot OR 3 grams of bad

Modeling Career
- Fit, attractive figure
- Talented agent
- Teeth

Toast
- Bread
- Toaster

Blackberry
- Small Fingers
- Memory Card
- Important Job
- Huge Dick

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Chris Han

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Admiral D!ck

I use to work at a Military Rec. Center in the boat rental. The rules were easy 1.first come first serve, 2.rank does not matter, 3.and have a military id, will travel; they could rent boats and go fishing or partying. 6 months prior to graduating boot camp a group of marines reserved the "party barge" (BIG a$$ pontoon) this also happened to be Memorial Weekend.... Read More » Soo, the fresh little newbie's have loaded up the party barge with beer and what not and this Navy Admiral walks up without reservations and orders them to "Disembark and relinquish" the boat. All the new marines snap to attention and start unloading. The admiral than orders them to leave there fishing equipment and beer to save him time and expense. Seeing this I walk up and inform the Admiral "no reservations, no boat, your sol." Admiral orders to see my boss (I am the boss) and say "go to the big white house in DC and file your complaint there" Admiral "What's your name and rank! I'll have you marshaled!" Me "my name is ___" having no rank because I'm a civilian I stick my butt out and while pointing to my posterior "my rank is kiss this." Mr. Admiral d!ck wad storms off mumbling something about MPs and I help the marines out of the dock and with them a happy party. I do so love p!ssing of military officers.