A Letter Home From A Kid Who Thinks He's At Magic Camp But Is Really At Fat Camp

Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m having a great time so far at Camp Make-it-Disappear. I’m meeting a whole bunch of cool kids here and am making a lot of new friends. Thanks so much for sending me to magic camp. It seems a lot different than what I thought it would be- but that’s the nature of magic, it’s never what you expect!

On the first day when Iput onmycustom cloak and Merlin hat, everyone laughed at me. Obviously these geeks have no appreciation for the classics. They’re all about David Blaine and Chris Angel. Not me, Houdini FTW!

We haven’t really been doing too much magic so far. It’s mostly conditioning for magic, I suppose. Sometimes David Copperfield performs 4-5 hour sets. I imagine that takes endurance, which is what I’m building up for on the many hikes we take through the (most likely) enchanted forest.

Not that I’m complaining, but the food here is pretty meager. They don’t fry ANYTHING and we get granola bars for desert. They’re pretty strict about snacks in the bunks too. They tried to take away all my Snickers the first night so I had to quickly make them disappear, lol.

One thing that gets me is that none of these kids seem to care about magic. All they talk about is food, food, food. I mean, their parents were awesome enough to send them to this great magic camp. I’m hungry too, hungry for magic. Also for food. But mostly magic!

You guys are going to love this: I am THE BEST at magic here. None of the other kids even really know how to do any illusions. Even my simplest trick- you know the one where I pass a quarter through my hand? That totally baffles those idiots.

Chester ‘The Amazing Chest’ Jones

p.s.

Can you please bring me some of those brownies with the peanuts on top for parents’ day? Thanks!