- South Park's "anti-gingerism" becomes a reality. (Still no news reports of anthropomorphic feces.)
- Hungarian rappers promote global peace while declaring war on R & B.
- Man sues over an everlasting boner, prompts endless "hung jury" zingers from snickering judge.
- X-rated origami: the sexiest paper innovation since Hustler hit the stands.
- 1,600 musicians play "Smoke on the Water" during largest Deep Purple jam session ever which is also first Deep Purple jam session ever.
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