Lincoln Hawk

Brotastic: Year in Review

That time you and your frat brothers filled that flask with everclear and went to your little sister’s play.You got hammered and had an impromtu sword fight with one of the actors even though it was production of “Jesus Christ Superstar”. Brotastic!



That time you drank a whole case of beer by yourself on a Sunday and left explicit messages on your ex-girlfriend Terri’s voicemail. But you were to drunk to realize it was your frat brother Terry’s number you were calling. You woke up next to him with a pounding headache and soreness in other parts of your body. Brotastic!



That one time you and your frat brothers got hammered and did a panty raid.But you were so drunk you missed the girl’s sorority house by a block and ended up atthatnursing home. You still haven’t got that smell out of your clothes but you got some nice souvenirs. Brotastic!



That time you and your frat brothers got hammered before the football game with intentions of taunting the other team and raping their mascot. But you got lost on the way and ended up at an 8-year old girl’s soccer game. Because of that streaking incident you now have to register as a sex offender. Brotastic!



That time you and your frat brothers decided to have a beer pong tournament using hard alcohol and flaming baseball’s. Resulting in 6 deaths, 8 arrests, 9 stomach pumps, and enough Facebook pictures for a calendar year. Brotastic! Steve-o, Beefy, Herc, Shit Stain, Fugly, and Midget Head you will all be greatly missed.

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Footsie

My boyfriend and I had started sleeping together, but hadn't been doing so for too long. We were still getting to know how kinky the other one was. So one night after hanging out he went to go get ready for bed I went and laid down in his bed naked, pretending to be asleep. I heard the door creak open, heard him walk quietly up to the foot of them bed, and begin slowly and... Read More » sensually licking my foot. I froze, completely repulsed and unsure how to react. I turned around to face him, and explain that I just wasn't ever going to be into that sort of thing, and could this even work out? . . .only to find his roommate's pitbull wagging her tail and licking away and my oblivious boyfriend still in the bathroom.