Is that "thing in your fridge":


Food (0 points)


A food container (1 point)


Shelving (2 points)


A motor (3 points)

It is located:


On the top shelf, in the front (0 points)

In a storage compartment on the the door (1 point)

In the crisper, behind an onion that's beginning to germinate (2 points)

Hiding in the dark behind the Arm & Hammer baking soda (3 Points)

Upon smelling my food, I:


Smile (0 points)

Have to think for a second (1 point)

Have uncontrollable muscle spasms (2 points)

Wake up in intensive care while my parents weep by my side

When I poke my food, it:


Does nothing (0 points)


Jiggles (1 point)


Moves out of the way (2 points)


Publishes an essay in The New Yorker about why poking food is childish and annoying. (3 points)

The slogan on my food's wrapper says:


"Meal, or no meal?" (0 points)


"Talk to the ham!" (1 point)


"Don't burn-baby-burn: Crisco inferno" (2 points)


"Buy war bonds" (3 points)

My food came from:


The grocery store, pre-wrapped (0 points)


A fancy restaurant (1 point)


A BBQ last week or last summer, I don't remember (2 points)


Hell (3 points)

When I put my food in the microwave, it:


Gets warmer (0 points)


Explodes (1 point)


Mysteriously remains the same temperature (2 points)


Screams for mercy (3 points).

My food's hair looks like the hairstyle of the following celebrity:


Vin Diesel (0 points)


Ryan Seacrest (1 point)


Bob Ross (2 points)


Cousin It (3 points)

When I accidentally dropped some of the food on the floor, my dog:


Ate it (0 points)


Ate it, threw it up and then ate it again (1 point)


Ate it, then cowered in the corner (2 points)


Ate it, then went to doggie heaven (3 points)