Tragedy Strikes

April 1st, 10:18 AM

911 Operator - 911. What’s your emergency.

Kid - You have to help me!

911 Operator - Calm down, young man. What is your emergency?

Kid - It’s my dad, he’s hurt really bad!

911 Operator – I’m dispatching an ambulance right now. Can you tell me how he got hurt?

Kid - He got into an argument with our neighbor, Seymour Butts, and then Mr. Butts hit my dad with a hammer and they both fell down. My dad is bleeding a lot. Mr. Butts is bleeding too. You’ve gotta help me.

911 Operator - You think this is funny? Crank calling 911?

Kid - Please ma’am. He’s shaking a little now. Please.

911 Operator - I get it, kid. I get it. You and your little friends probably sat around and thought about this for a while. “Hmmm,” you said to yourselves, “what should we do for April Fools day.” And then one of you little brats said, “hey, let’s crank call 911.”

Kid - He’s turning white. Really white. Please.

911 Operator – HA! I’m not falling for that. You know it’s against the law to place a false call to 911? Did you know that, you little turd?

Kid – Daddy? Oh my god, Daddy?

911 Operator – I don;t make a lot of money, ok? I’ve got an apartment to pay for and a piece of crap car, so I don’t need this sh*t, you got it? I already got crank calls about a fire, two rapes and a stabbing today and they were wayyyyy more convincing than you.

Kid - I want my mommmy, I want my mommy, I want my mommy…

911 Operator - And I want a raise. Hope your April Fool’s Day prank was worth it.

The 911 Operator hangs up.

Kid (to friends) - Hahaha, she totally bought it!

High fives