“You definitely just got food poisoning from the Lo Mein. You will be very sick very soon”
“When the apocalypse finally comes in August 2009, you will be completely unprepared for the horrors that await you”
“You will see many photos of your recent ex-girlfriend slutting it up on facebook”
“The hot girl that works at Starbucks will see the mustard stain on your shirt and forever think you are a disgusting slob”
“Your skills at Guitar Hero will never be converted into helping you become good at playing a real guitar. Not ever. No matter how much you practice”
“You will never again win a game of beer pong”
“The next girl you have sex with will turn out to be your third cousin”
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12 Different Types of Hangovers
What Your Desk Toys Say About You
If Presidents Wrote the President's Fitness Challenge
Sexual History CarFax
Eight Types of Laughter
I Think My Draw Something Partner Might Have Been Kidnapped
You've had a lot of emotions about hockey, but "lust" is a first.
Oh, when I do it I get thrown out of the museum, but when it's a machine, it's "art"?
"Advice Number 1: Don't get involved with anyone like Don Draper."
I've always been into environmental awareness! Also, sexiness.
"Hair? Oh, this is gonna take a while."
Meanwhile in Japan, comedy websites are passing around cat videos and wondering why America is so weird.
At last, an explanation for the most mysterious nose in Hollywood.
She's been attending the Michael Jackson School of Cosmetics.
Your mom likes this list.
Levels: one. Time wasted: infinite.
