Yoda: The College Years

Before going to Coruscant to begin his training as a Jedi, Yoda spent two years at a small liberal arts college, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

Saturday. 11:00am. Yoda’s roommate, Brian, walks into their dorm room to find Yoda still sleeping on a pile of empty beer cans on the floor.

Brian: Yoda, man, you need to get up. Aren’t you supposed to meet up with people from our history class to work on a group project?

Yoda: (still half asleep) Tired I am. Rest I must.

Brian: Fine, blow it off. But if you keep blowing important shit like this off, you’re going to flunk out of school, man.

Yoda: This you cannot know. Clouded the future is.

Brian: Whatever, Yoda. Your head has been clouded lately. Hey, weren’t you going to sleep at Kristin’s last night?

Yoda: Into a huge fight we got. Very plastered I was. Alcohol is a path to the dark side. Alcohol leads to loosened inhibitions, loosened inhibitions leads to poor decision making, poor decision making leads to suffering.

Brian: Gotcha. Well, you guys always seem to work things out. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

Yoda: A good relationship with Kristin I have. How feel you, Brian?

Brian: I’m doing pretty good. There was a pretty good party at the APD house last night and…wait, why is my bong out? Did you smoke my herb without asking, you little bastard?

Yoda: Mourn not the loss of your green. Rejoice for those around you who enjoyed it.

Brian: Dude, it was MY herb though. It was so uncool of you to smoke it.

Yoda: Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.

Brian: You take one philosophy class and all of a sudden you start talking like a Jedi or some shit. Well I’m going to the library to try to finish my English paper so I have the rest of the weekend free.

Yoda: Do or do not. There is no try.

Brian: Says the guy who’s flunking out of school.

Brian leaves the room. Yoda falls asleep on the empty beer cans again.