The Dorm Life

I'm almost done with an important part of my life. That is living in a dorm. Now for some people (Chase Winkle), dorms are a hell they couldn't wait to get out of.

But for me, I enjoyed living in them. You're not ever alone, and you usually can find something to do.


Positives-

If you run out of anything; IE, shampoo, toilet paper, condoms. You can pretty much assure that you can run down the hall or knock on someone's door to carry you over until you get yourself something.

You turn the thermostat for your suite to 60 degrees because you know you're freezing the Mexicans next door out of their room. You do it just because you find it funny.

There is always something to do. Dorms are essentially a year long day care for college aged students. You've got all these people who are somewhat intelligent and have nothing to do but sit around and think of shit to do. Some examples of this would be to drink heavily and decide to put your love seat on top of the school gymnasium. Or to put on a Halloween Mask at 4am, and sneak into people's rooms and scare them while yelling, "I'm gonna eat your asshole!"

If you are bored, you can always just walk down the hall and talk to someone. Some of you guys living at the larger universities had dorms where no one knew the person they lived next to. But alot of dorms are where you learn about life, talk about politics, or who the biggest slut on campus is. Its a forum for ideas and their distribution in a sense.

Someone is always watching porn to watch. And some guy always has 5,000 songs on his iTunes that you can download. As well as a forum for ideas, dorms are also forums for bootlegged software, movies, and music. Its like CD Warehouse without the douche bag named Kenny with his name tag covered in Black Flag stickers.


Negatives-

You live with a complete weirdo as your roomate. The guy makes a weird moaning sound when he sleeps, he has the worst gas in the world, and you're pretty sure he wakes up at 5am to beat off while you're asleep.

You have to listen the the nerd next door fuck his fat girlfriend at night. And the whole time you'll hear her screaming something like, "Fill me up daddy, fill me up." Thats even too much for a moral degenerate like yourself to handle.

The guy on the other side of you plays "Dance Dance Revolution" at 3 o'clock in the morning, and then gets pissy when you start baning on the wall with a hammer and knock his "art" project off the desk. And all he had to do was turn the bass off.

You have a roomate who plays Age of Empires everynight until 6am. And every time you hear the fucking Mongol Horde blow their horns and him rub his hands together once he types anything, you are just that much closer to snapping.

You have a roomate who brings a drunk, annoying, and loud chick back to the room and proceeds to dog the shit out of her on his bunk bed. And its too loud to go back to sleep, so you just start randomly yelling shit like "She's faking it" to ruin it for them.

You party in your room one night and the next morning there are 8 people lying in and around the room when your soccer coach walks in the next day with soccer recruits. You not knowing who was walking into your room at the crack of noon, throws and empty beer can at the opening door while yelling "Get the fuck out of here Carlos!"

Someone eats all your fucking Ramen Noodles.

People always seem to want to walk into your room when you are fucking your girlfriend. Its like a Sixth Sense or something.




Like I said, I have loved living in dorms. They are great places to meet people and find out what kind of person you are. I personally think everyone should have to have a roomate when they come to college just to adjust them to adulthood.


So to all those past roomates and suitmates, its been good.