Paul Scheer

Best Myspace Spam Mail


This makes me laugh every time I look at it. I love how “Chad” is so non-plussed and oddly resigned that the only thing he can do is send out an mass email to his friends about his “crazy“situation.

Personally I picture Chad living in a world where his roomate is constantly masturbating all around their apartment and it’s like bad 80’s sitcom like “Perfect Strangers” called, “Playing with each Other.” The opening credits would be all about their crazy living situation as Chad tries to go about his normal life with his “crazy” roommate. You’d see him trying to find a box of cereal and then he turns around to to see his roommate using the cereal box to masturbate (shot tastefully of course) and he just shrugs and laughs while synthesized upbeat music plays. The closing credit shot would be late night in their apartment Chad is watching TV and sitting next to him is his roommate furiously masturbating, he looks over smiles then lifts the remote and clicks it and the screen goes to black, just like he’s shutting off your TV. In my world this show is canceled right after the opening credits.

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Horrible Discovery

I work in Apparel at a department store, and I usually have to take care of the fitting rooms, like making sure clothes get hung up and put back and such. So, last week I get to work and began to check the ladies fitting rooms, and I get to the big one that's supposed to be reserved for handicap and women with small children, but some of the other employees will let whoever... Read More » in. When I open it, I see hangers everywhere, and 2 pairs of jeans stuffed underneath the bench. Assuming that someone had stolen jeans and left their old ones, I get down on my hands and knees and go to pick them up. Well, they were our jeans....and they were wet. Some lady who was trying on jeans peed in them and on the floor, and I got to discover it. I immediately dropped them and sprinted from the fitting rooms to the bathroom (that is on the other side of the store) to wash my hands. I washed them pretty much raw, but even so, I feel like they will never be clean.