As I'm sitting at work waiting for the last hour and thirty-seven minutes to dwindle away I've realized that I haven't written a blog in ages. Has my life been uneventful…not at all to say the least. Are their new and exciting plots to be revealed to my fans at every corner…es posible bitches but I guess you'll just have to read about my last couple weeks to find that out. On with the show.

-I got to hit up for my buddy Manjah's B-day and a Ravens game two weeks ago. It was freaking sweet titty nuts if you ask me. We sat with the players significant others and families, got to meet Jon Ogden (around 6'10" 370LBS), and hung out with two of my good ole' boys from SU all while spending only $96 for the week. We did hit up U of Maryland for a night and I will say that the girls, or what at times resembled a girl, were hairy, big, and mean looking. I mean those girls A) could drink any guy or wildebeest under the table B) smelled like that lonely sock you find in your gym bag that was caught on some piece of Velcro all too long ago and C) were in the height range of Lisa Leslie and that one tall bitch that dunked in the WNBA. I used to like tall women…now I say Nah……I SAID NAH!

-One night, Kijun, Jenn, , and myself got the idea to go skating like back in the good ole days of the skating rink. We all dressed up in horrible outfits, the girls look like back-up dancers for Pat Benitar, Kijun looked like a gay cowboy with wranglers/pearl snap red poker shirt with rhinestons/dodgeball headband, and I was dressed like a midget Mexican accompanied by a large sombrero/sleeveless basketball shirt/1987 McCulloh high school men's cheerleading pants. Garret showed up late but came barring gifts as he brought his very cool, heavily charged digital recorder. Yes, we recorded the entire night on film, was it the greatest video ever, I don't know but I shit myself twice watching me interview everyone, watching couples dancing, the limbo, zooming in on random ass's and just loving the camera in general. Why does the Wolfpen Rink not even come close to Ranking? 1-No disco ball 2-No group Hokey Pokie 3-No races 4-no sixth graders making out in the corner by the arcades 5-no Ms. Pacman/Galaga machine. In fact, the only thing that was better about this place was it was kinda clean and you know how every place has the young hot girl that's parents usually own the place or she's been working there for years. Ohhh, this girl was hot and Kijun, Garret, and what the F(*#) myself would have given our Camera, Pearls Snap, and Sombrero to see her split under the limbo bar one more time.

-We went to play pool last week on a random Wednesday night. Now I'm not a good pool player and never have been or told anyone I was even remotely capable of making a long-range shot but this night was different. There was something in the air I smelled that night and Holly (my badass partner) smelled it too. It wasn't cowbell but victory. We dominated about 7 games in a row before splitting up. I couldn't miss. Not like the penalty kick I missed to tie the game in the playoffs last year or the time I couldn't get a return back at the state semi-finals in tennis. I mean I was en fuego.

-Last night we played the best team in our soccer league and tied them 2-2. I had a shot that missed the goal by about 14 inches but worst of all I landed on my right heel awkwardly running full speed for a ball there was no way I was getting to. Why do I tell you all this, because I can't put pressure on my right heel and now I have shin splints from walking on my toes and I look like a big Va-Gin-Er limping around like I was in a tough Fight Club brawl or something. I wish I could have at least made contact with some guys knee or been kicked from behind but no, I slowed down running way too slow and hurt my heel. Freaking loser.

-My brother Matt is a badass. Some say I suck his peppermint patty too much but the guys the Tits. He has made the money in three straight tournaments this year and his lifetime winning has grossed nearly 3/4 of a million dollars. The only bad thing is, at one point I was kinda kicking ass in poker. I did good at the WSOP this year, made a final table, yada yada. People were actually believing I was good at poker. Then Brother's McGrim had to come and demote me not only to Matt's little brother, but to Drew Dean, Matt's Poker Receptionist who has to fill every other person in about Matt's poker life. Give me a break. Let's not forget the head's up battle Matt and I had online for $5, that's right $5 dollars people which I won easily even though they gave me the nut flush and Matt the flush as well. Good job Matt….you bastard.

-Other than that I'm living the dream people. Hope all your lives are going alright. Lemme know if there's anything I can do for ya. I probably can't but Santa never got me a signed Wolverine replica of his antimantium claws now did he? But I still asked him.