She'll Come Back to Me Now That I Bought This RV

‘Afternoon, Andersons! Yep, yep, you’re looking at ‘er! The 2006 Coachmen Epic. All thirty-six feet of ‘er. Pretty shiny, huh? Come on over and check it out! Boy, I’m excited! Oh, watch your step there, Angela. Here, let me put down the boarding ladder. There you go, climb on up. You too, Chuck! Come on aboard! Well, here it is! She’s a beaut, isn’t she? What do you think? A bit much? Not for my family. Spared no expense here, believe me. Had to refinance the house but it’s gonna be worth it once Laura and the kids see it. When’s that? Well, this weekend when she drops them off, I guess. No, Chuck, we’re separated. There’s a difference, ok?

Boy, imagine the look on the kids’ faces when they see their daddy just bought them and their mom the ultimate funmobile! I really think Laura will like it. I’m excited to show her. So, walk on back, check out the kitchen! Look at that thing! We got a gas stove, an oven, a microwave, and a toaster oven. That’s more than we have in the kitchen in the house! Hm? Did I say “we?�? Well, you know what I mean. Me and Laura and the kids. Yes, Chuck, I know they don’t live here anymore. But be a pal, will ya? Come on.

Check out that TV. Flat screen all the way. I even bought an Xbox to hook up for Jake and Danny. Yeah, and the couch is leather. And look, the dining table folds up to give you more room. Yep, more room for me and Laura and the kids.

Come on back and see the bedroom. This is where all the action is going to happen, as they say. Well of course, Chuck. Whenever Laura used to see a motorhome, she’d be so impressed. Now I am the motorhome owner. Let’s just see her resist this. Look at that bed! It’s a king size bed in a vehicle, for chrissake! How can you turn that down? 400-thread count sheets on that bad boy. Had to take them off my bed in the house, but Laura won’t go in there anymore. It doesn’t matter, I’ll bring the bed to her!

Maybe I’ll take them up to Lake Tahoe this weekend. It’ll be fun for the kids and a nice romantic trip for me and Laura. Maybe we could let the kids stay in the RV for a night playing video games and watching tv, and me and Laura can get a nice cabin. Yep, there’s nothing more beautiful than dawn misting over Lake Tahoe. Well, nothing more beautiful except Laura. Ah, maybe this weekend things can turn around for me. Yep, this RV is gonna get me right back on track with my life. Wait, how do you know she already has plans this weekend? You talked to her? What do you mean? A new man?? Already?! Who is he?? A PILOT?? But I just bought this RV! Yes, Chuck, I do realize an airplane is more impressive than a motorhome. Thanks a lot. Dammit.