When's the last time you've had sex?:


29 months ago (0 points)


Never (1 point)


Not sure (2 points)


My girlfriend hasn't let me sleep with her for, like, nine months (3 points)

What type of condom did you use?


Latex (0 points)

Lamb skin (1 point)

Sheep skin (2 points)

A sheep (3 Points)

How well of a swimmer are you?


I'm not a swimmer, I'm a drowner (0 points)

I can swim great, with swimmies! (1 point)

I know how to swim (2 points)

I'm Michael Phelps (3 points)

Does your girlfriend think Knocked Up is:


Terrible and upsetting (0 points)


Pretty good (1 point)


Hasn't seen it (2 points)


A perfect storybook romance (3 points)

When she goes out, she typically:


Runs in the park (0 points)


Gets WASTED! (1 point)


Buys baby clothes (2 points)


Gets ultrasounds (3 points)

She's been gaining weight these past couple trimesters because:


She eats so much bacon (0 points)


She hasn't been working out as much (1 point)


I don't know, she cries when I mention it (2 points)


She has a baby growing inside her uterus (3 points)

She gets mad when:


I try to slip it in bareback, HIGH FIVE! (0 points)


I say I hate children (1 point)


We're playing soccer and I suggest she be the goalie (2 points)


I Pretend to push her down the stairs (3 points).

Your girlfriend is a:


Lotioned hand (0 points)


Boy (1 point)


Girl chimpanzee (2 points)


Human girl (3 points)