Now Jenna: Hey, Jenna. How was high school graduation?

Pre-College Jenna: Oh my God, it was extremely moving. I made sure to get everyones school email address. I don't wanna lose contact with any of those guys! I know we'll be friends forever!

NJ: Yeeeeeah. About that, by the time you reach senior year…you'll probably be talking to a grand total of three of your high school buddies.

PCJ: No way! Even those girls that I sat with every day for lunch?

NJ: Well, you're gonna run into them over your first break…and by that time, they'll be so annoying you'll want to take a scalding hotshower…merely to wash the pain away.

PCJ: But I promised to visit them!

NJ: Well don't worry. A little thing called "Facebook" will enter your life. Even though you have no desire to ever see them ever again, you will want to keep up to date on any and all changes they make to their profile.

PCJ: Well, there's always instant messaging.AOL is only good for IMing my peeps.

NJ: I don't think you'll want to use that word. And oh yeah, that AOL instant messaging thing will be your tool to compulsively check away messages. In fact, you're going to sign on simply to put up a witty away message talking about how drunk you're gonna get.

PCJ: Well, that seems pretty pointless.

NJ: No, no. The word your looking for is necessary. How else are you going to let that hot new guy from your intro to psych class know you plan on getting drunk? And by drunk. I mean pantless.

PCJ: Gross. Who cares about guys at school? Me and Kyle are going to be together forever!

NJ: hangs head So young. So nieve. Honey, I must insist you break up with him before you leave.

PCJ: NO WAY! We're not like all those other couples that break up! We can do long-distance. He gave me a promise ring!

NJ: Well, that will come in handy when you need something to throw at a random guys window when your drunk at 3am. Trust me, the guy won't be that cute…but the 10 games of beer pong will tell you he is.

PCJ: I dunno, I've never been a big drinker.

NJ: That's true. But then you meet a friend on your floor that will introduce you to another friend whose name is "Jagermeister." He's BFFs with "Cheap vodka that you mix with whatever the vending machine has left".

PCJ: Ew. Well, I am definitely not one of those outta control drunks that puke everywhere.

NJ: Laughs uncontrollably for 27 seconds

PCJ: What? I'm on the soccer team. I'm an athlete…I have to take care of my body.

NJ: Jenna, the reason you drink so much is because you're an athlete. It's what you do. And not only will you puke. You'll pee your pants, kick a hole in a wall, and routinely make out with your teammate Kristin.

PCJ: gasp I'm not a lesbian.

NJ: In college, everyone is a lesbian. Oh, and you're gonna wanna make sure you get money BEFORE you make out with her. Don't make that same mistake again and again and….again.

PCJ: Look, I know you think I'm going to be one of those thousand of other girls who become a huge drunk and are constantly sleeping with random guys, but I have standards and morals.

NJ: Those will go out the window. Right before you have to climb out of it to avoid crazy girlfriend of the guy you were just dry humping on the dance floor.

PCJ: So, I will have no standards, no morals, and no drinking tolerance.

NJ: Noooooo. But you do have sweatpants that will be the only thing that fit you, a sure-fire hangover cure that never works, and a brain that desires to drunk dial any and all ex boyfriends.

PCJ: Sweet Jesus, I will be one sorry excuse for a senior.

NJ: Ohhhh, Jenna. That's just your freshman year. Next time will talk about sophmore year and the do's and dont's of getting your stomach pumped and how to deal with that questionable rash down there.

PCJ: sobs quitely into graduation cap

NJ: Dude, keep that outfit for theme parties. But, make sure you make it as slutty as possible. Alright, I'm late for dollar beers at the pub. Catch up with you later. Remember, make sure the table has all four legs before dancing on it. Let's limit ourselves to one concussion per year. GOOD LUCK!