Cow: So this is great, I love hearing about cruelty free restaurants.
Chef: Yeah I really feel like I'm doing a good deed.
Cow: Tell me about your menu.
Chef: Well we have a great garden salad, a delicious flank steak.
Cow: What?
Chef: Flank steak, to die for.
Cow: So when you say cruelty free
Chef: We kill all the animals very humanely.
Cow: Ok maybe you don't get it. To us that's the cruelest part, the part where you kill us.
Chef: I see, but I kill all the animals very quick and painlessly.
Cow: Still, you did say kill. We do die. And that's really just the worst part for us.
Chef: A man needs to eat.

Your Roommate, Translated
7 Ways to Please Her
Reinventing Yourself For Second Semester

Angry Amazon Reviews of Adorable Dog Costumes
The 5 People You Meet In College (if they were comedians)
If People Were Really Honest in Job Interviews
The 5 Most Worthless College Resources
Almost Reading
The Troll
Humor Us
TLDNR
Regret Everything
The Graphic Truth
CollegeHumor Interview
Twidiots