Streeter Seidell

Call God?

My friend, Dan, told me about this phone number the other day where you can call, ask any question and these people will answer it for you. “It’s called ‘Call God’,” he said.

I did a little research and it turns out that this number does exists but it isn’t God on the line: it’s a few kids at Auburn University. The phone rings in the Foy Student Union, where college kids have been answering random questions from strangers for about ten years.

They’ve also been collecting valuable information, such as penis size data (Italians have the biggest at 6.5 inches, average is 5.6). I called and asked if I should pee now or finish writing this article first and was told to use the bathroom now since the article would still be there when I came back. Anyway, give them a call and ask a question, it’s a lot of fun.

God’s Phone Number
(Foy Student Union)
(334)844-4244

PS. 5.9
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It's a vase

I used to work night shift manufacturing in small town Nebraska. After work, I went home and bummed around a bit, when my roommate and I realized we were hungry for some greasy food. Everything is shut down except a 24 truck stop about 20 minutes away. We head out, and half way there we see lights flashing in the rear. He wasn't speeding so we had no idea why we were... Read More » getting pulled over (turns out it was a burnt out tail light). The cop comes up, sees two mid twenties guys wearing huddies, and when he asked us where we were going answered him that we were going to the truck stop because we had the munchies. 45 minutes go by and we hear a dog sniffing the car, barking at the trunk. I look at my friend and say "Your not sending me to jail man!", "No, I clean, really." Sweet is poring down our face when the officer says, "Both of you step out of the car NOW." We comply, and 5 officers search every inch of the two of us. Then they search his trunk, "SIR, ARE THESE YOUR WEAPONS?", My friend answers, "That's my key chain pocket knife, I forgot it was in there." The offices disregards it than spits back "WHATS THIS?!?" My friend squeaked out "That's a vase sir." Much to their disappointment, we were clean, and they let us go. I still chuckle when I go back to visit and see his vase.