Article

Nothing's More Satisfying Than

by Jeff Rubin on

  • Not studying for a test, and narrowly beating your friend who did.
  • Scratching a mosquito bite.
  • Turning on HBO and catching Total Recall right at the part with the 3-breasted stripper.
  • Punching a clown.
  • Thinking you woke up late, and then discovering you still have over an hour to sleep.
  • Proving a teacher wrong.
  • Trading a first round fantasy football draft pick to a friend, then watching him get injured next week. The draft pick, not your friend.
  • Getting an onion ring with your fries.
  • When you poop and don't have to wipe.
  • Finding a 20 in a jacket you haven't worn since last Winter.
  • Signing up to do charity work. Then, ditching the charity work to have sex with like five chicks. But your girlfriend still thinks you did the charity work.

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