While others are concerned with dating, the battles of sexual orientation, or fake people trying to create an image for society; we (and yes, I mean "we"), on the other hand, are faced w/something much more important…a plethora of lesbians in one sitting! One would consider us lucky…..or are we??I posed to my b.f. (a result of a 2.5 relationship, still in the making), that I would ONE DAY, lay out our very realistic life, into this fantastic article, which exploits our very realistic perspectives of our UBER GREAT lives. Why you ask? (Yes…you know who you are)…Because our lives are in fact, that BRILLIANT!
That being said…that day has come…

In our world, we have many places (oh yes, and I mean "many") that we are both admired; one being none other than our art class. Ah yes, art class. Where the boys drop out and the teacher who looks like a balding David Arquette, laughs at the expense of depressed children living in group homes. Where the charcoal spreads and so do the lesbians….

Ah, yes…the lesbians! Don't think I forgot about the lesbians (I'm sure you didn't…). Sappho's Isle (a Casablanca Dream); where I have come to believe that this Art class was created as a liaison for lesbians to congregate. Now, typically, who wouldn't be excited about having lesbians in their class, right? Or should I rephrase that to, who wouldn't be excited about having annoying, heavy set, butt-crack showin', lesbians in their class, right? you're right, its not exciting. But not only that, we have every type. There's "friend", where she is a fantastic drawer, but claims to be an artist klutz and wants everyone to praise her and tell her she's great and bang-able (yeah, maybe by a jackhammer). Then there's the Nazi, where she decides to draw whatever she likes, when she wants to. Then she feels empowered when she draws her girlfriend, causing the French Revolution all over again. Then, there are the "Old" and the "Young". The young, who wants to appear all dark and creepy, where she draws in the dark corner and swears her picture is listed under "mysterious" in the dictionary. Then the "Old" (total opposite from Young), wants to appear the outspoken lesbian of the bunch, where she unzips to show her vagina and lays her tit on whoever she feels like (…or feels period). There's whatever her name is…where we have no idea "what her name is" and we don't know what the hell she's saying. Then, there's our teacher. Even tho' he's a guy, he's a lesbian trapped in a man's body. He still likes chicks and gropes his junk on us, but he's GAY!

And I'm not sure what it is, but it's not about being sexy. It's something about our sleek pivots, our chic style, our charismatic character, and our magnetic eyes that reverberate through the class like sexual ooze. And no, I don't mean that "faggish vibe" bullshit. But I mean that Pimp Vibe and our artistic skills that send these bitches cumming to us.

Yes yes, I know that everybody goes through these hardships, but that doesn't mean we have to??!! Because c'mon, we're overachievers that do not and will not, settle for less (OH), even "if" we get the glare when they're denied. We're special; we don't answer our cell phones if we don't have to. We're not lookin' to talk to any girls or salad tossin' fags, for that matter. We just like to mind our own, while being up in the cut…. (oh).

~[ASS to MOUTH]