Amount you love talking about loving America
How well you know the words to the “Star Spangled Banner”
Variety of cheeses you’re willing to eat
Percentage of your car covered in stickers of this color
Amount you’re a terrorist
Thinking Stephen Colbert is funny
Thinking Stephen Colbert is being serious
Amount that this color is for queers and homos who aint welcome here in the first place.






Dating Dos and Don'ts
The 10 Ornaments on Your Christmas Tree
The True Meaning of Christmas, According to Christmas Movies
What Everyone in Your Family is Bringing for Thanksgiving
What People Will Say They're Thankful for This Thanksgiving, And What They Actually Mean
What Your Ski Tracks Say About You
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.