Body hair. It’s an ugly term that conjures up images of wrestlers of yesteryear and old school porn stars.
There are products out now that are specifically designed for men to trim their body hair…down there.Guys have always done a little trimming of the hedges and many even choose to trim the hedges all the way to the ground (it means they shave their balls). But with these products specifically designed for male grooming…down there, it has officially become mainstream.
No longer will men have to shave their balls using their roommate’s clippers that he uses to groom his face (sorry you had to find out this way Andrew). With penicular grooming now becoming easier to talk about outside of the locker room, the question arises: just how adventurous will men become in their manscaping efforts?
Will we be seeing shapes similar to the ones women sport? You know the shapes I’m talking about. One example is the runway, the thin strip of hair right above the vagina that says you’re all clear for landing. Or the triangle with the point facing down. The arrow, if you will. It says, “Hey, it’s this way right here. Come on, big guy”
Gender inequalities have dogged males since the dawn of body grooming. Men have been judged far too harshly for grooming procedures that women can do without any persecution. My hairstylist Randy still gets upset when I come in for my Brazilian wax, and he’s been doing them for me for five years! For those brave men who want to break this vicious cycle, I am proposing some shapes that are worth giving a shot.
The shape: The Lightning Bolt
The message: It screams excitement.“Hey look, I’m crazy enough to shave my pubic hair into a lightning bolt. I’m so crazy.”
The shape: The Perfect Circle
The message: You know how long it took me to do this and get it right? I am a perfectionist.
The shape: The Christmas Tree
The message: I got your gift waiting right here underneath the tree. If you play your cards right, we might get a white Christmas.
The shape: The Emo Cut (just a little tuft that you kind of slick down and to the side)
The message: my general apathy towards life and raw emotional state has even found a way to pervade my pubic hair.
The shape: The Upside Down Arrow (with the point facing upward)
The message: You spend so much time focusing on my penis. I wish you would take the time to look up and see the real me. Talk to me, get to know me, we could be friends.
And those are just a few of the shapes you can try.
I, for one, will not be trying any of these. No woman will be seeing that area anyway, so it is just a waste of time. It’s hard sometimes to resist temptation, but when you make that vow to become a man of the cloth, you can’t quit when it gets tough.
But if any of you are a daring man, and/or a gay man and/or a bodybuilder, then give it a shot. I support you in your efforts.
'Til next time.