Hey Dudes, Welcome To Our Party

Hey…hey guys, who do you know here? Scott? Nah, no Scott’s here. John? Cool, cool, what do you guys have class together or something? Yeah, awesome.

Well, guys, make up your mind, either come in or leave, we can’t have people hanging out on the front porch all night. Neighbors get pissed, ya know.

Anyway, dude, let me show you around the place. We got beers in that bucket over there and there’s a keg in the back being manned by this dude Meatfist. Just say you’re my boy and he’ll fill you up first. Oh, speaking of that, if you guys wanna drop, like, five bucks for beer that’d be awesome. If not, whatev.

Oh dudes, you gotta meet this kid. He’s, like, our mascot. I think he goes to the high school in town or something. Either way, he comes here and gets fucking wasted. Bro, last week he took a deuce on the rug at, like, 9 o’clock. The party had barely started! Later that night, he tried to crush a keg on his forehead. Dude, do you know the hospital is, like, a twenty minute drive from here? Yeah, for real.

Anyway, I better get back to entertaining every — hey, dudes, check out those girls. Ever seen anything so beautiful in your life? Whatd’you mean the grand canyon? You’re buddy’s a fucking joker all of the sudden? Jesus look at that ass, what the fuck am I doing here talking to you losers? I’ll see you dudes on Monday. Peace.